Wednesday, June 29, 2005

I got asked to be on a Tier 1 ultimate team.

???

What the crap? How did that happen? I have no idea. I subbed for them twice, and I guess that I played ok, but I wasn't expecting to be invited to play full-time for them. I certainly don't consider myself a Tier 1 player. At least, not now.

OK. Maybe I should back up a bit and explain some of this last paragraph.

One of my main problems is that I get hyper-competitive when I play ultimate. I don't get competitive with everyone else, but I have high expectations of my performance and get disappointed when I can't live up to them. Not only do I get disappointed in my play, but I also start playing worse and worse as the tournament continues. This conundrum has affected my play at several tournaments, including last year at Canadian Nationals, and this year at Northern Flights in North Bay. I vowed after Northern Flights, the weekend before last, that I would not let this happen again.

As a result, I am supposed to pretend that every game I play is a game of pick-up. I'm supposed to have fun, not worry about the score, and just play. I did this last week at the Kahunas' game, and I enjoyed myself. Also, I wasn't a liability to the team, which is something that I feel when my competitiveness emerges.

However, being added to the Kahunas' roster may make me forget that I am supposed to play pick-up. I might get worried. I might start putting pressure on myself to prove that I am supposed to be there. I might start making mistakes and getting frustrated as a result. And I don't want to have that happen.

I want to enjoy myself this summer. I made a promise to myself after the spring fiasco (which I will describe in another post) that I would do everything I could to make the game fun for myself again. This attitude shift is supposed to help. And I guess it did, because now I'm playing with a really good team. But I'm still nervous.

Want neuroticisms? I've got 'em! :)

4 Comments:

Blogger deadpan said...

Congratulations! And good luck combating the self-induced pressure. I know it's hard to force oneself to relax (I'm the queen of angst) but I have confidence in you and your super-fly skills.

10:35 AM  
Blogger Jane said...

Thanks!

I think I provide a good challenge to you for the queen of angst title. Have you been reading my blog?! :)

11:31 AM  
Anonymous jason sweeney said...

Congrats on being called to the show!

Best advice on the self-induced pressure -- play your game, not what you think other people want you to play. Definitely try and play your game well, but if you start to get down on yourself for doing things that aren't your strengths anyways, at the expense of what you are good at, you're going to have a difficult time.

And make a real effort to note your successes. A self-induced ego boost can do wonders.

(This is from a self-diagnosed angst monkey.)

And yes, your blog is public now... :-)

1:49 PM  
Anonymous warren said...

who is jason sweeney anyway i want a neuroticism please. and one for my friend so make that two. to go.

4:06 PM  

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